Credit Canada has announced the launch of a new TV commercial that is bringing rays of warmth and sunshine to an economic climate otherwise riddled with news of doom and gloom. Called “Dignity”, the 30-second commercial offers hope to consumers burdened with debt that just one step in the right financial direction can make a world of difference.

Highlighting a single mother and her daughter as they rise together in the morning and go about their day, the commercial uses striking black and white cinematography, a warm voice over, and an uplifting musical score to tug at the viewer’s heartstrings, conveying the message that “When you decide to get out of debt, you may be surprised at what you get back.”

“Our objective as Canada’s leading credit counselling agency is to provide hope to people stressed out by debt. So it makes sense that we spread a positive message that there is someone out there who can help people straighten out their finances and get their lives back to focus on more important matters, like family and loved ones,” said Credit Canada’s Executive Director Laurie Campbell.

Production credits:

Director: Jamie Way
Director of Photography: Jeremy Benning
Producer: Kristi McNeal
Production Company: Big Sky Productions
Editor: Barry McMann
Post: Creative Post
Music Composed by: Peter Holmes
Music Produced by: Igor Vrabac and Ken Worth
Music Arranged by: Igor Vrabac
Copywriter: Peter Holmes
Agency: Reason Partners

Follow the link to the commercial, http://www.youtube.com/user/CREDITCANADA?feature=watch
(if you are having trouble opening the link, try placing  your cursor on the link, hit control then click the mouse at the same time).

As a parent – or as someone who aspires to parenthood – you may be interested to know that in Canada the average cost of raising a child from infancy through high school is about $182,000. If you foot the bill for another two to four years of college or university for your child, you can add at least another $40,000 to $50,000 to the sum.

The numbers represent spending within a typical middle class household. No extravagance here by Canadian standards, just spending that typically reflects the general needs and expectations of most of today’s families across the land.

Obviously, food and clothing account for much of the spending that goes to raising children. But plenty more goes to other things such as school books and activities, transportation, allowances, maybe special medical and dental needs, gifts, vacations, and – in today’s electronically driven world – computers and cell phones.

Sports and recreation factor into the picture, too, sometimes in a big way. And that’s what I’d like to focus on today.

The fact is, in most areas of spending concerning kids, there is not a lot of financial wiggle room for parents. Needs are needs after all, and beyond that it’s basically a given that a child’s lifestyle ought to proportionately reflect that of his or her parents (assuming the parents are fiscally realistic about the lifestyles they lead).

In matters of sports and recreation, there is significant wiggle room for spending. Smart parents can find ways to spend wisely – even frugally  – and at the same time keep their youngsters active, healthy, and happy.

In saying this, I’m in no way minimizing the importance of sports and recreation in the lives of children. Kids need to be active for the sake of their physical and mental health. Moreover, sports and recreation activities help kids hone the social skills they need to function well in the competitive adult world they will eventually join.

What I am saying is that there are plenty of sports and recreation options out there that vary widely in terms of costs, and that educating oneself about those costs can have a significant impact on a family’s finances over the life of the child.

Newlyweds planning families, and parents whose little ones still have a lot of growing to do, especially benefit from broadening their outlook in this regard. It starts with an understanding of spending options and standards.

Let’s consider some of those options and standards point by point, and assign a spending value to them in terms of being great, pretty good, and not so good.

Hockey – Value: Not so good.

With this assigned value I am not denigrating Canada’s national obsession in any way, I’m just saying it can be hard on the pocketbook as a serious kids’ sport. We’re talking registration costs approaching perhaps $500 a season, plus new gear costing upwards of $1,000. Then there’s the matter of travel/accommodation expenses. And because it’s a shift sport, you have to ask how much actual playing time your child will receive. Of course, if a child has a real desire to play the sport, parents may have to ante up. Tax credit and financial aid programs can help out here (see my note about them at the end of this blog).

Hockey moms and dads who are strapped ought to check out used equipment options. Note, for example, that in Toronto the civic government has partnered with Goodwill, the Greater Toronto Hockey League (GTHL) and several businesses to launch a Hockey Reuse Equipment Bank.
See http://www.goodwill.on.ca/2006_newsrelease_39.htmlfor more info.

Cycling – Value: Not so good.

In addition to the initial expense of at least $500 for a half decent, new racing bike for a wee racer, parents are looking at hundreds more in outlays for cycling shoes, helmets, and sports duds. Moreover, if your child seriously pursue the sport over time, count on spending thousands on better bikes and renewed equipment over the years. Also fees, transportation costs and time needed for the sport can be daunting. Bike races usually require entry fees of $15 to $30, then there’s the matter of transportation to racing events that can be spaced hundreds, even thousands, of kilometres apart. Many parents buy bikes for their kids anyway. To save coin, you can let the kids roll and have fun exercising freely outside of the official competition.

Riding – Value: Not so good.

As you can imagine, a sport involving horses cannot be cheap.  First, lessons are needed at usually $30 to $50 per hour. Now add a saddle, proper riding attire, and the use of a horse, which can run well over $1,000 annually. Of course, you can always buy your child a horse, but that opens another whole bin of costly oats. A horse can cost you from hundreds to thousands of dollars. Then you have to take care of the animal with boarding, grooming, feed, and medical and transportation costs (think horse trailer and a vehicle sturdy enough to pull it). You’ll probably want to consider this as a sport for your kid after you win the lottery.

Gymnastics – Value: Not so good.

Dreams of Olympic gold can quickly turn to lead when you start adding up the costs here. You wouldn’t think gymnastics would be all that expensive. But outlays for simple weekly lessons soon grow as quickly as your kid’s limbs. Suddenly, there is the need for professional private coaching that costs hundreds of dollars a month. Now add warm-up and performance attire, not to mention travel costs and registration fees. It’s easy to spend $1,000 to $5,000 a year for basic expenses, not including skills camps and Olympic circuit training.

Martial Arts – Value: Pretty Good.

Team sports are great for developing social skills. But there is a lot to be said for individual disciplines that teach kids self-reliance and discipline. Karate, Tae Kwon Do and other martial arts require simple attire and that’s it beyond the training fees, which may run parents $400 or $500 a year. Naturally, courses with celebrated masters in teaching roles can run much higher, but does your child really need to learn his or her chops from Steven Seagal?

Soccer – Value: Great.

For all the talk about hockey being Canada’s national sport, the truth is that in terms of the sheer number of kids in Canada who play the game, soccer is the sport of choice. Parents can expect to spend as little as $300 for the privilege of seeing their kids runs themselves ragged for 90 minutes a game. The gear, shorts and sweat shirts, don’t come with big price tags, and soccer balls can be had for $20 each on sale. In terms of practice, soccer can be played just about anywhere.

Swimming – Value: Great.

A great strengthening sport from the point of view of both individual skills development and team skill development.  Gear is minimal, obviously, and school swim teams frequently have either their own pools or pools under sponsorship. Practice can be had for the small price of a local community pool membership, plus there are bodies of water everywhere worth dipping into come warm sunshine. Special swimming lessons may run parents a few hundred dollars.

Basketball and Volleyball – Value: Great.

Basketball and volleyball are very popular school and community centre sports with courts and balls provided. Your expense amounts to a simple uniform and, if your child plays in a community league, maybe a small community membership fee. You may have to put a little money towards gas to drive to and from games. Practice is easy. Pick up games for either sport are easily arranged on courts at playgrounds and on school property.

Track Sports – Value: Great.

Running is perhaps the most affordable sport. We’re talking about expenses that amount to the cost of a pair of good running shoes. Schools everywhere have track and field programs that are fully sponsored. Most schools readily supply equipment for field sports such as javelin or pole vaulting. Practice can take place anywhere there is a field.

So, all this should help you decide what kind of value you’re getting for the dollars you spend on your kids’ sports activities. You will notice I left football out of the mix. That’s because it’s mostly oriented to male high school students, and my thinking here was to look at sports that apply to a broad cross section of youngsters.

The bottom line is, when spending on sports and recreation for your kids, be money smart. Spend only what you can afford to spend. If you promote affordable sports to your kids when they are young, they are likely to cotton to them.

Meanwhile, be aware that the federal government offers a tax benefit that helps parents cover costs for kids’ sports and recreation activities. Through the Canada Revenue Agency, you can, and I quote, “claim to a maximum of $500 per child the fees paid in 2011 relating to the cost of registering your or your spouse’s or common-law partner’s child in a prescribed program of physical activity.”

As well, the Province of Ontario offers something called the Ontario Children’s Activity Tax Credit covering an extensive array of sports and recreation activities. Under the program, parents and guardians are able to claim up to $500 of eligible expenses per child. There is a refundable tax credit worth up to $50 per child under 16 years of age, or up to $100 for a child with a disability under age 18.

Last but not least, financially strapped parents should take note of a charitable organization called KidSport, with chapters in all regions of Canada. KidSport provides grants ranging from $100 to $500 to cover the cost of registration fees for one season of sport. Some chapters may also assist with equipment, youth leadership opportunities, sport camps and travel costs.

Out with old man 2011 and in with 2012’s cute and cuddly baby wrapped in a fuzzy blanket and soothing with a pacifier. A good friend of mine recently welcomed a baby boy to her family. He is an adorable bundle of joy, cooing and sleepy-eyed while his parents shower him with admiration and loving cuddles. Not being a parent myself I got the full low-down on how stressful 22 hours of labour can be for a first-time mom and a few pointers on how they plan to save a penny here or there when it comes to raising little Jeremy. If you are a new parent yourself consider some of these parental savings tips:

• Breast-feeding is not only better for the immune system and development of the baby, it’s also FREE FOOD!

• Plan ahead, look into RESPs for your child’s future education (and get the government to pitch in a little bonus too)!

• Invest in some jars and make your own baby food with a food processor. It’s much healthier to avoid all of those preservatives and cheaper in the long run.

• Cloth diapers are a good way to save money if you don’t mind some extra laundry/mess. If you decide to opt for a pick-up service then the price may not be much better than buying disposables but it is still better for the environment and wearing cloth lets your baby’s tushy breath.

• If certain genetic diseases are common in your family you may want to consider cord blood stem cell banking. This can be a pricey treatment since you most likely will have to pay for yearly storage but it could also help save your child or another family member down the road. Even if it is not right for you, the science behind it is quite interesting.

• Check out your local library and community centre. There are often free children’s activities like story time that you can take advantage of.

• Wait until AFTER the baby shower to start buying baby items. You may be surprized with how generous your friends and family can be. It’s becoming more and more popular to register for gifts so that others will know that you really like those yellow ducky bed sheets.

• When you do purchase baby furniture, clothing, toys and anything else consider buying second hand instead of new. There are stores that sell gently used items at half the retail price and will also buy back items later on if they are still in good condition.

So while your new bundle of joy may be keeping you up at night, spitting up on your favourite shirt or smelling up the car, at least your pocketbook can take a sigh of relief by following a few of these suggestions.

Happy New Year!

Let’s talk about financial deceit on a scale somewhat more personal than that of Wall Street high rollers.

This year, ForbesWoman and the National Endowment for Financial Education (NEFE) in America commissioned a survey about couples that is worrisome if it fairly reflects what is going on in the world, and particularly in Canada where financial behaviour patterns are not so far removed from those of our broad-shouldered next-door neighbour.

Statistics from the survey seem to support the notion that we may be on our way to becoming nations of liars in matters of personal finance. The facts show that one in three adult individuals (31 per cent) who have combined their finances admitted lying to their spouses about money. Another one-third of these adults said they had been deceived.

The conduct among offenders mostly involved hiding stuff such as cash, minor purchases and bills. A smaller but still significant number confessed to hiding major purchases, keeping secret bank accounts and being deceitful about a debt or earnings.

This is not good news for spouses and partners on the continent. At Credit Canada, we know through decades of experience in debt counselling that financial dishonesty between couples often spells disaster for relationships.

Well, the ForbesWoman-NEFE study itself tells the story.

Sixty seven per cent of couples affected by financial infidelity said the deception led to arguments. Another 42 per cent said it significantly influenced trust. Most troubling, 27 per cent said the deceit led to a divorce or a separation.

Now, an interesting thing about the study is that it revealed income levels have nothing to do with the scope of the financial deceit. The lying occurs equally across all income levels. Which means that if you’re a liar with a net worth of, say, five million dollars, you may concoct more elaborate schemes to hide stuff like Ferraris and race horses, but your behaviour is not outside the norms of financial dishonesty among those with a net worth of, say, $30,000.

Of course, big ticket items usually aren’t the kind of things at issue. As I say, cash, credit cards, loans, others debts, and extra income usually are kept under wraps by the deceitful party. Not surprisingly, victims of the deceit alternately feel threatened, heartbroken, or even terrorized. They may rightly wonder how far the dishonesty goes. Could the house be in jeopardy? Education funds for the kids? What about the nest egg?

Who or what is to be blame for all this? Some say money deception has become a big issue over the last ten years or so due to the easy availability of credit cards and loans. But I don’t buy that at all. A dishonest soul is no more dishonest just because he or she has access to a little more money. Indeed, among people with such character flaws, I believe that if financial deceit were not the issue, some other form of deceit would be.

As we have found at Credit Canada, financial honesty or the lack of it usually comes down to the individual’s upbringing. Did mom and dad demonstrate respect for money through their actions? Did they promote ethics, honesty and openness of communication about finances within the family? If not, then seeds of disrespect and deceit were likely sown early on.

The bad fruit that grows from financially duplicitous soil is not easily sorted out because it usually encompasses an array of psychological problems. The difficulties can involve everything from neurotic power plays, guilt trips and bullying, to plain old secrecy in circumstances of quiet desperation. Compulsions involving gambling and other pursuits often figure strongly in the picture, too.

My belief is that – in most cases – a person’s propensity for financial dishonesty is directly proportionate to his or her willingness to go on living life in a self-deluded way. Frankly speaking, most of us reach a point in life where as adults we know exactly what we are doing when we do wrong, including having full consciousness of the lies we tell.

First and foremost, we must be honest with ourselves before we can be honest about finances. This means taking full personal responsibility for our dark sides. Doing so can be painful, and help from a good counsellor or therapist may be in order. But in the end it is worth it.

Indeed, in the end truth can save relationships, families – maybe even nations.

As if the list of reasons why dating is a complicated endeavor isn’t long enough, they’ve added “chequing account balance” to it as well. Recently my girlfriend was kicked to the curb by some guy she was dating on and off. She sulked for days only to hear from a friend of a friend that he cut her off because she was becoming too expensive to date and she didn’t seem “appreciative”.

Now I know she isn’t the most humble of all females but she really isn’t a diva either. Everyone has flaws but these were some bold statements to make and because I knew how into him she really was, I was both shocked and hurt for her. How could he say such things about a very hardworking and independent woman who is the furthest thing from a shallow gold digger? I couldn’t really understand what he meant by “too expensive”. I asked if she was the one dictating where they should go or what they should do. She laughed and elaborated, telling me about all their posh dates and expensive dinners. She said if she came off as unappreciative it was simply because she didn’t care for all the extras. She just wanted to get to know him. He was always trying to impress her with expensive purchases like the 400 opera tickets he got for her birthday. FYI: She hates the Opera! I asked her if she ever offered to pay for him or take him out and she said he wouldn’t let her, they always played that game where the guy refuses to let you pay and you’re forced to agree at the end.  As the conversation got deeper and deeper I realized that most men just don’t get it.

Well I’m here to shed some light on “it”. Most women don’t really care much to be wined and dined  ALL the time. We have our own money. We can afford to pay for our own dinner and even yours sometimes. Not all women are out there looking for sugar daddies! We just want to know if you are financially responsible; a trait, that later on, if we become serious, is essential!  And if you’re a guy who insists on paying because your pride won’t let it be otherwise, pick a restaurant that you can afford. You can even take your lady out for happy hour drinks or for a cup of coffee.  You don’t have to shell out big bucks to win over someone’s heart. I know it sounds cliché but it’s true! Some of the best dates I’ve ever been on have barely cost a dime.

Where are all the real romantics hiding? That’s what women want. When did the amount of money you spend becomes the amount you care? Next time you’re confused about what to do next, send her a text or an email and tell her she’s beautiful, she’ll appreciate it more than a 6-course meal of things she can’t even pronounce. It’s simple. If you impress us with your words, impress us by listening and sharing. Impress us with the person that you are. Show us  that you’re not only confident but that you have a lot to offer another person …well guess what? WE LOVE THAT and that costs nothing!

Let me tell you about Harley and Winnie. They are empty nesters in pretty good health. They have well paying jobs with good benefits. They paid off the mortgage on their suburban bungalow. They helped put their two kids through school and get established on their own. They have saved and invested money wisely over the years. By all appearances, they share a peaceful, happy life unencumbered by concerns about finances.

But appearances, as they say, can be deceiving.

Getting to where they are today has been a challenge – one of constant vigilance and effort on both sides of a relationship that is characteristically in opposition – gingerly so, for the most part. Voices are rarely raised between the two, though occasional bouts of verbal sparring can be quite cutting (terms like “lout” and “snow queen” have been uttered).

Winnie is the left brainer. She is a legal secretary by occupation. At home, she is general manager – a stern taskmaster in this regard. Good with numbers; a determined organizer. Maybe too determined sometimes, to hear hubby Harley tell it. After 25 years of marriage, he has yet to come to grips with matters like Winnie’s compulsion to straighten all the shoes on the rack by the garage entrance.

He wonders if one day, just for a little excitement, she might allow a running shoe or a rubber boot to slip a little to the left or right.

Harley is the right brainer – a creative type by trade who designs computer games. At home, he is the shambolic lay-about – an Oscar Madison type in a he-she odd-couple setting. His study above the garage – where he sometimes works from home – closely resembles the aftermath of a Kansas tornado. To this day, Winnie cannot understand how he functions in the heap. Yet if she were to move even one small item in the mess, Harley would be incapable of functioning.

With the arrival of autumn, Winnie faces an annual challenge with Harley. She believes – quite rightly – that benefits come with simple measures of outdoor maintenance around the house, which is some 50 years old now. Every fall she points out to Harley that through preventative household maintenance, there is the potential for hundreds – if not thousands – of dollars to be saved on energy and stuff that would need repair if neglected before the snow flies.

Her task with Harley is to get him up off his butt to carry out the maintenance.

Over time, Winnie has made an art of this challenge, playing off of Harley’s principal weakness – food. Indeed, Harley loves Winnie’s cooking, which mostly consists of traditional WASP fare that is expertly and deliciously prepared (unless Winnie has reasons to prepare it otherwise).

Her strategy is simple: dangle the sweetly glazed carrot in front of Harley with the proviso that he performs the household maintenance. No maintenance, no sweetly glazed carrot – just canned creamed corn with cheap, dry, overcooked pork chops.

For Harley, tension-filled quandaries result from Winnie’s tactics, for his love of food must do battle with his love of gluing himself to the couch in front of the TV – or to the chair in front of his computer – where he naturally plays or tests the computer games he designs, or where he watches sports before he gets around to watching more sports.

In the end, Winnie always rules the autumn day, giving proof to the notion that the way to a man’s initiative is through his stomach. Harley installs the storm windows, cleans the eavestroughs, applies the weather stripping – then enjoys a rib roast (slightly pink) with garlic mashed potatoes, garden peas, and gravy to die for.

Harley goes on to drain the outdoor hoses, check the furnace and replace filters, clean the chimney and combustion vents – then relishes a tenderloin pork roast with Rosemary potatoes, homemade apple sauce, and fresh corn from the local farmer’s market.

For the extra effort of draining the backyard rain barrel – ensuring it doesn’t crack when the water in it turns to ice – Harley is additionally treated to homemade cinnamon buns.

A few more meals later, with all home maintenance matters handled, Harley and Winnie are happy, even if Harley has added girth to that spare tire around his waist.

The only problem now is the potential for Harley to feel a bit self-righteous about fiscal savings. For you see, Winnie, too, has a weakness. It’s shoes – she loves designer footwear coming with significant three-figure price tags. Come post-labour day, she for some reason hankers after high-fashion high heels.

But this is where Harley introduces a strategy of his own
.
He knows that in addition to her fondness for shoes, Winnie loves to travel. And each year he sponsors and arranges – with the help of a global cadre of computer game designers – an excursion by the couple to a destination some distance from home.

How far, and/or exotic, that destination might be depends entirely on the number of designer shoes (neatly arranged, of course) in Winnie’s closet.

Paris over Ottawa anyone?

Claims are often made that money trouble is the chief reason for divorce in Canada and the United States. Some studies show that 90 percent of couples who seek divorce do so because of problems associated with debt and the general mismanagement of money in personal relationships.

I know that money can play a big role in a troubled relationship. We hear tales of woe everyday at Credit Canada from couples distraught over finances that threaten nuptial vows – cases of “till bankruptcy do us part.” But I’m dubious about ascribing all the trouble to money alone. Money, after all, is only a tool. It’s the character of those who use the tool that tells the true story about where the trouble originates.

That is why it is unwise to think that if a couple only had more money, there would be no more shouting in the wee hours of the morning, no more flinging of ashtrays across the room – no more tears and packing up of suitcases – or no more silent, brooding evenings at home amid air thick enough to cut with a Ginsu knife.

Money is dynamically intertwined with everything that a couple does in life. Therefore, attitudes towards money crucially influence attitudes and behaviour in all aspects of a personal relationship. Given this reasoning, I’m willing to go out on a limb by introducing the idea that the extent to which couples are ignorant about money – and/or disrespect it – determines the extent to which they are ignorant about, and/or disrespect, their personal relationship.

Oh, but I can hear the voices rising in protest.  Says she: “But I love my husband dearly. Were if not for his lavish spending at the bar and racetrack, he wouldn’t be sleeping on the couch.” Says he: “But I adore my wife as a goddess. Were if not for her lavish spending at malls and clothing stores, I wouldn’t be out drinking and gambling.”

Right. These are examples of where partners blame money trouble on symptoms, rather than causes, which is pretty weird when you think about it. It’s kind of like blaming a cold on a cough.

Truth is, for couples, almost all chronic money problems come down to what good old Sigmund Freud – the godfather of all shrinks – discovered more than a hundred years ago. He discovered something called the unconscious – that nebulous offspring of the mind that gives human beings all kinds of grief in life because it truly is unconscious.

It’s tricky figuring out how all the stuff of the unconscious influences behaviour. The stuff is hiding, but it’s nonetheless active. It exerts influence over an individual’s every thought and action because it consists of all the experiences that person has had with money – as well as all the financial prejudices that person has adopted – since early childhood.

So it is that mom and dad’s bad habits with money usually become their children’s bad habits with money. And then it becomes a generational thing, with bad money habits continuing on in a vicious circle that without counter measures never ends.

It is possible to break the circle. The counter measures come down to waking up to unconscious attitudes and behaviour.

Through a process of self-reflection about money – and by studying the way money is habitually treated – couples can brave stormy relationships and achieve what in the end amounts to shared emotional and spiritual growth.

Though I’ve raised Freud’s name here, don’t be thinking that methods for financial self-enlightenment necessarily involve airy-fairy processes of psychoanalysis. The process I’m suggesting is very practical and it doesn’t cost $200 an hour. It starts simply with decisive action by both partners in a relationship to get into the habit of budgeting on a monthly basis, tracking all spending habits, and planning for the future.

It also starts with being mindful of how money is perceived – either negatively or positively day by day, moment by moment – by both partners.

Through full awareness of their financial behaviour and thinking, partners can learn to work together to make money their ally. Initially, this can be a hard and painful process. Coming to grips with uncomfortable personal truths and memories takes courage and determination. But in the end, it’s worth it. Divorce from one another no longer becomes the question. Divorce from ignorance becomes the challenge.

I could easily double the length of this blog outlining steps couples can take to improve – maybe save – their relationship based on financial self-awareness. But I think any such catalogue is best left to a future blog (we live in such a time-challenged world).

Let me just say that if you’re interested in learning more about couples and money, I invite you to contact my agency Credit Canada, and we’ll steer you toward lots of helpful information on the topic.

Of course, if you’re in trouble as a couple facing money problems, I encourage you to contact one of our qualified credit counsellors. We can help any couple remember their vows.

*George Michael: Genius, train wreck, handsome man.

Back in 2009 Credit Education Week Canada’s theme was Couples and Money. A survey released at the time showed that 86% of couples admit to arguing about money. To the 14% who didn’t admit to arguing about money, please!

Money is cited as the number one reason for the breakdown of a relationship. When I first started working at Credit Canada I spent a year in the intake department and quickly learned that one of the top reasons for financial hardship is the end of a relationship. The loss of an income, support payments and alimony, to name just a few, are large expenses that no one in their right mind accounted for in their budget. If you’re ending a marriage, heck knows it’s not cheap to lawyer up!

Unfortunately, the end of a relationship is not necessarily the end of your woes if you have joint accounts. To your bank joint does not mean 50/50. If you have a joint savings account it does not mean that you are entitled to 50% of the balance. It means that two people have unrestricted access to the entire balance. If you have a joint savings account and are going through a nasty break up you need to lace up your runners tout de suite and hope that you get to the cash machine or local branch first. If not, you could get there to a zero balance. Your bank couldn’t care less if your ex honey is a jerk, whoever gets there first gets all the cash. It’s not their job to mediate.

If you must have a joint savings account you can usually specify how many signatures are required for withdrawal. It may not be romantic to specify two signatures for withdrawal but romance and finance are matters best left to their own confines.

If you have a joint credit your lender will not politely calculate 50% of what you owe and then stop collecting on your balance when you’ve paid your half.

The basics on debts in the event of a break up:

Debts in your name only are your responsibility. Debts in your partner’s name only are their responsibility.

If you’re dealing with a debt in both of your names you’re both responsible to maintain the payments. The lender couldn’t give two hoots who used the funds or who is paying fairly and will expect the payments to continue being made in full and on time. If payments are missed the lender will try to collect from both of you and both credit reports will be impacted even if you’re paying what you deem to be your half; if the payments are not made in full the account will default.

Please note that the term ‘co-signor’ is a euphemism for joint with the added kicker that you have no claim on the funds or asset. When you co-sign a debt you are not just helping someone get a loan; you’re guaranteeing the payments. You will be on the hook for any missed payments and so will your credit score.

It’s something to think about. We all have friends who have suffered from mixing romance and finance and know how complicated it can get. You may be able to offload a bad relationship but if all the things you sign and the things you buy are joint, they’ll keep you together for longer than you imagined. If you’re half of a couple experiencing money problems in a relationship that is otherwise perfect, please call us.

Winning may not be everything, but it sure feels good. Just ask anyone who has put their finances back on track and who is sticking to a budget.

There is no official award for that. But there are tons of rewards. Like not having to stew about the weight of your piggy bank every single day. Like not feeling anxious about a bill collector being on the other end of the cell ring you’re hearing. Like living well and treating yourself and family to little luxuries while actually being able to realize your longer-term hopes and dreams.

I mention winning today only because we have received word at Credit Canada that For the Love of Money has been nominated as one of the country’s top ten personal finance blogs by the folks at The Globe and Mail, Canada’s national newspaper. For the newspaper’s feature Best of the Blogs 2011, Globe financial reporter and editor Dianne Nice had, well, nice things to say about For the Love of Money. 

Says Dianne: “Laurie Campbell, of the not-for-profit Credit Canada, is the lead writer for this humorous blog that aims to ‘improve everyone’s financial savvy.’ I love the pull-yourself-up-by-your-bootstraps tone of the articles, which are geared toward those who tend to overspend.”

We are of course honoured to be selected by Dianne, as fine a journalist and editor as you will find in this country. And we are pleased to be nominated by Diane among four other financial bloggers. Here are the others that were included in Diane’s list:

• “Gail Vaz-Oxlade: You’ve got to love the no-nonsense approach of well-known TV host and author Gail Vaz-Oxlade. Her personality is all over her blog, which features great tools, including Gail’s Guide to Building a Budget.”

http://gailvazoxlade.com/blog/

• “RetireHappyBlog: Run by Jim Yih, a financial expert with 20 years of experience in the industry, the Retire Happy blog is full of practical tips for retirement savings but also has hundreds of personal finance articles on a range of topics from children’s allowances to taxes.”

http://retirehappyblog.ca/

• “Canadian Couch Potato: Educational and amusing, Dan Bortolotti, an award-winning personal finance journalist, writes a great blog for those who hate high mutual fund fees and want to learn more about do-it-yourself investing through index funds and exchange-traded funds.”

http://canadiancouchpotato.com/

• “Money Smarts: Mike Holman, author of The RESP Book, has worked in the Canadian financial industry for almost two decades and is the go-to guy for answers about registered education savings plans, but his blog touches on all things personal finance, from discount brokerages to energy sales scams.”

http://www.moneysmartsblog.com/

For the full story about all the blogs nominated by the Globe, go to  http://www.theglobeandmail.com/globe-investor/2011s-best-of-the-blogs-nominees/article2007165/

Meanwhile, we have no intention of resting on our laurels here at Credit Canada. There are many people in this country who need instruction about the benefits of winning.

In the wake of Mother’s Day, I’ve been thinking about moms and money. Being a mom myself, I know all about money’s role in maternal matters, or perhaps I should say family matters, because it’s often us moms who handle the budget for virtually everything in the household. Call us Chief Financial Officers on the home front.

What are our responsibilities in this capacity? Well, we frequently oversee income and  expenditures relating to shelter, sustenance, utilities, clothing, education, entertainment, kids’ allowances, and many other matters. If we are working moms, our financial tasks at home add to our workload and can create real pressure in circumstances where there isn’t a lot of dough to go around. Still, as individuals with genes built in to make us strong, nurturing protectors, we are take-charge types. We are survivors.

I and the moms I know who succeed in home economics take a no-nonsense approach to money. We respect it as an all-important tool for our families’ well being, and we make sure our financial toolbox is in order at all times. First and foremost, we develop a home budget, we put it in writing, and we do our best to follow it to the letter. We know what we need to spend monthly to live, and what we need to save for the future. Moreover, we create contingencies for rainy days.

We are money smart women, and proud of it. And we believe in tough love. We do not take kindly to fun-loving hubbies who overspend at the bar, thoughtless children who blow allowances stupidly, or lazy relatives who expect handouts. We are great believers in law and order, and financial crimes relating to the home budget will not be tolerated. They are punishable by such things as – in the case of infractions by hubby – orders to sleep in the garage (well, maybe not quite that bad, but close). Or, in the case of spendthrift kids, the withholding of funds and new home-chore duties. As to lazy relatives, excommunication is not out of the question, at least until they get up off their idle duffs.

We do not put up with financial wrong doing by outsiders either. We are always alert to scams, and we painstakingly read the fine print associated with any and all items or services we acquire.

At the same time that we are stern taskmasters, we strive to be understanding friends and tutors. We openly share information about financial matters with members of our families. We do not let troubles fester. We offer guidance to our kids, teaching them about the wise use of money, and providing encouragement about what can be done with money to better our lives. Equally important, we constantly remind our loved ones about our shared dreams and goals as a family, always bringing a positive sense of hope and expectation to the table, along with a sense of humour, especially in tough times.

Love, we know, is the one thing that can always be spent freely.

Meanwhile, we are creative in the way we handle our finances, constantly looking for new ways to save money on the goods and services we need to run the household. We’re smart shoppers. We look for food and durable goods at the best prices, without sacrificing quality or ignoring issues that might negatively affect our families’ health and happiness. In this regard, we are most thankful for the Internet, an invaluable tool for finding deals on anything and everything imaginable.

Tough though we are, we are reasonable women. We are not Scrooges for the sake of being cheap. When money is tight, we always find economical – and even free – ways to keep the family healthy and happy in body and in spirit. And when money is more abundant, we are of course open to added extras for an improved lifestyle, but we still don’t lose sight of protecting our roots. The reigns remain tight.

We like to think that in terms of managing household finances, mother often knows best.